What Kinds of Medicines Are You Selling Here?
None. I don't sell medicine, salves, ointments, unguents, tablets, pills, drops or caplets of ANY kind.
Nothing small or edible in any way. I just sell empty bottles with silly labels.
In fact, should you decide to purchase an AntiPills container, I STRONGLY recommend that you
do NOT place any kind of REAL medication in it whatsoever!
( Do me a favor and read that last sentence again please.)
Many things can be placed inside them, but I don't sell anything here aside from the labeled bottles.
2016 Update: Also Label Downloads 🙂
You're selling EMPTY bottles? Nothing inside? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot ?!
Alright... First of all, calm down and watch your language.
We do not say "foxtrot" in this house.
Secondly . . . Why on EARTH would I decide for you what to put in
your AntiPills Container?
I don't even know what your favorite wrapped candy is.
Since you do know what your favorite candy is, you'll be able to buy your treats
locally and fill your jar with a brand new, fresh batch of it.
Besides . . If I filled them with candy, they could sit for MONTHS in storage before being sold.
Then the candy would be stale, it would not be your favorite and I'd feel like a loser for sending it out to you.
Or perhaps You won't put candy in your AntiPills Bottle at all.
Perhaps you'd like to keep erasers inside it, or office clips or gift whistles or miniature plastic cows and dinosaurs.
Other suggestions for what you might wish to fill your AntiPills Container with:
Is This just a joke site? Or are you REALLY selling these bottles?
I am REALLY selling these bottles. ( ...and Label files )
As to whether this site is a "Joke", well . . . I'm only just learning
WordPress . . and I'm doing my best . . so . . . "sniff" . . .
cut me some slack ok ?? Don't be so hurtful.
( Truly, the main purpose behind all of this is to make visitors laugh, or at least
smile a little. So . . . yes the site is meant to be satirical and humorous, but the
labels and bottles are also for sale if folks want them. )
What are the bottles made of and how big are they ?
They're made of glass ( so don't play "catch" with them ) and
they're 5 3/4" tall by 3.17" across.
Where did you get these Labels?
I wrote the copy for them.
Generated all of the graphics for them.
Printed them and fixed them to the
glass medicine jars myself.
Luckily, I did not have to out-source any of these tasks, otherwise I'd have had to fire myself.
What's so special about the downloadable label files?
They are exactly the same files I print out when I make the AntiPills Bottles.
They're High Resolution images (magazine quality 300 dots per inch )
that will re-size very well if you need to stretch them taller or wider to fit your
preferred jar or bottle. No loss of image quality. 🙂
Are they Dishwasher Safe?
In fact, I'm pretty sure ANY container you happen to own with a label
glued to it will be MINUS that label if you put it in a dishwasher.
My recommended cleaning method would be to use a damp cloth or paper towel, inside and out.
Should you decide to fill your AntiPills bottle with a liquid, please try to keep
it dry on the outside. The label is coated with a glossy sealant.
It's moisture RESISTANT . . but not water-proof.
If I put my favorite candy in an AntiPills Bottle, will it become energized by the psychic
properties of narrative causality and actually WORK just as the label promises?
Short answer: No.
Long Answer: NNNnnnoooOOO.
Why do you have so many stolen Shakespearean references scattered in these labels?
I placed them there for several reasons.
One, to make you feel super smart for noticing them. Well done. 🙂
Two, Shakespeare was quoted and misquoted a lot 100 years ago even without the internet or daily screensavers.
And Three . . . I enjoy those plays, no matter WHO wrote them. I'm also of the opinion
that these labels, like Shakespeare ( How's THAT for Hubris eh? ) are a LOT more fun to PERFORM
rather than just read quietly.
The characters on ALL of my AntiPills Containers keep looking at me.
Their eyes follow me around the room. Is that normal?
No. Clearly their souls are trapped within the Jars and
you will have to FREE them before you ( and they ) can experience peace.
To do this . . . Un-screw the cap and give the inside a few short bursts
of Canned Air. . . . done.
How did you get PO Box 1 ?
I Know!! Right?
Seriously . . it was just . . available, and the right size
and very close to home . . . so I took it.
Does Seeing "P.O. Box 1" make you worried if I'm actually "Me" ?
Well . . I don't know what I can do about that.
Maybe you could use the contact form and let me know
you're sending a card to my P.O. box.
Write a secret word on the card.
I'll write you back and tell you what that word is when I get it.
Or . . better yet . . .
Pick out an AntiPills bottle you'd like, and buy it.
Then I'll send it to you.
That would save a lot of time. 🙂