Never Die From a Die! . . . Make Your Die Die For YOU!

Why Tempt Fate? Just Punch It In The Face!

"If you simply CANNOT roll dice with any success, and all of your swearing, meticulous rituals and expensive matching sets never worked to change your luck . . . then you are holding the right product my friend !

These Tablets are mightily endorsed by Manic Min-Maxers, Armchair Gladiators, and Warped, Wicked, Win-at-any-cost Gamers. In short, players who DEMAND a better-than-even chance at victory!

Swallowed only as a LAST RESORT, these one-dose-wonders will set off a statistical resonance wave within your body that DIRECTLY affects your Dice rolls! The subconscious microscopic bodily vibrations that have always caused you to roll low will be reversed!

The Probability Curve will be flattened out and bent the other way! Avoid being found out while using these tablets among serious gamers. If caught, you would be banished from all gaming tables at conventions and haunted by the ghost of the red box dragon until the end of your days!" - Ezra Dwingle

"Of course our tablets will make you roll on target. Just remember . . . there IS a price to pay.

The tiny cost of these tablets will seem very low indeed once you have become a non-stop winner. Your dearest cost will be the complete desolation of your soul and the slow death of your universe as all color and uncertainty are gradually drained from reality.

There will be no doubts about any dice-rolling outcomes. Not for YOU. No tension. No mystery. And no way to undo the heinous act of exploiting this THRICE DAMN'ED FORMULA!!

You will TRIUMPH at every gaming encounter, but Karma will ambush you with a PSBBBB!* Beware . . . BEWARE!! And by the way . . . My last name is pronounced "PRUNK" not 'prunkyoo'. Get it right for &%#$ 's sake!" - Miss Leona Prunque

* Psychic Splash Bucket of Boiling Brain Bleach

© 2015 - This Novelty/Entertainment container was sold empty.
Do not ingest any contents, edible or otherwise, unless you placed it in here yourself!

You Are Not at Home to "Mister Random" !

A "Dodge"? - A "Crutch"? - A "Cheat"? - How DARE YOU!!
Does it seem fair to you that "Lady Luck" constantly screws you over with dice that seem as if they've STUDIED FOR YEARS how to destroy your characters? Well "Lady Luck" can &%#$-OFF ! These tablets will FORCE your body to roll EXACTLY the numbers you need EVERY TIME!!

Why take damage from ongoing poison spells just because the DICE hate you? Why risk creating a character with lame stats? Why chance a Fumbled Fireball, an Abysmal Ax Swing or a Horrible Heal? Make your saving throws SAVE! Make your Dice work for YOU!

When your party needs a hero and you roll to hit, OBLITERATE the enemy so consistently that it BENDS reality to the Snapping Point! Roll the numbers you need with such perfect precision that there will hardly be any point in playing the game! Just make a list of "bad guys" and declare them all Dead!

I took only a single dose of Dwingle and Prunque's "Natural Twenty Tablets". Suddenly, I was rolling nothing but 20's again and again while Blindfolded!! . . . . . . . . they said. - Satisfied Customer

ADDED BONUS: FULL DICE “CURSE REMOVAL” !!! - Gather any or all dice together that you KNOW are cursed and trap them inside this medicine jar over night. When the morning sun gleams in through the amber glass of this container . . . They will ALL be purged of their malignant aura and urge to roll rottenly. They will be Purified By Anti-Statistical Saturation!

(Be sure to REMOVE them afterward from the jar. Do NOT swallow dice, even if they are un-cursed. Also, remove the bottle from direct sunlight or our faces will fade on the label. Hey . . . would you like it if that happened to YOU?)

A 5% Chance To Roll a Natural 20 In Every Dose!