Do partake of this evil extract. I need new rivals to destroy! . . . Crush your foes! Enslave your enemies! And While you're at it, take these pills!

Powerful Maniacs In The Know - Always Go With Malvolio!

  Looking for that little extra "push" to keep you lurking in darkness? Let's face it friend, we ALL know it can be a tedious chore to back-stab, double-deal, hoodwink and ambush first thing on a Monday morning! Don't give in to lax moments of mercy! Let my Whoreson Villain Extract help you ruin other people's lives and grow your secret global empire!

  Take a few doses and you will recover your Mad Cackle before you can say "Ha! You're going to Die ANYWAY so of course I'll tell you my plans!" Take my Sinister Supplement and Join the elite few among  the insanely wicked! You Too can enjoy:

  •   Improved Minion Abuse
  •   Better Evil Throne Posture
  •   Swifter Escapes to Hidden Passageways
  •   More Humorous Parting Lines as you condemn Whole Cities to Death!
  •   Improved Loyalty From Exotic Pets
© 2015 - This Novelty/Entertainment container was sold empty. Do not ingest any contents, edible or otherwise, unless you placed it in here yourself!

  !! Malevolent Men Munch Mean Medicine !!


    My astonishing formula will provide you with all of the fine traits EVERY World-Dominating Tyrannical Mastermind Needs! INCLUDING: Blind Contempt for the human cattle so far beneath you! - Reckless Arrogance! - Bone-Deep Megalomania!  - Meticulous Vanity! Impatient, Rash and Murderous Haste in the pursuit of your Glorious Destiny!  - Myopic Hatred of all Interfering Do-Gooders. !PLUS! Send me 4 bottle caps from this extract and receive a 'Baron Malvolio Lunch Box' Absolutely FREE!! (If I find myself in the giving vein.)

"I took only a SINGLE DOSE of Baron Malvolio's Whoreson Villain Extract. Then I ascended to the roof of my building to stand firmly and loom over the neighborhood. I laughed menacingly while wearing my Cloak of DARKNESS and gloves of DOOM, and I DIDN'T GET ARRESTED!...for once. - Satisfied Customer

  My Noxious Soul poison will bring out the darkest, direst, most dastardly and damnable doings you are capable of or I will Personally return to you your purchase price! Yes! I will gleefully place every penny you spent back into the palm of your hand!*

* (Please be sure to provide accurate return postage for your hand.)

A Sneer, Whip Crack, and Menacing Laugh In Every Dose!