{"id":73,"date":"2015-08-01T22:52:03","date_gmt":"2015-08-02T02:52:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/antipills.com\/?page_id=73"},"modified":"2020-04-06T13:03:44","modified_gmt":"2020-04-06T17:03:44","slug":"pizmo-stankles-anti-aggravation-pills","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/antipills.com\/index.php\/empty-medicine-jars-with-detailed-satirical-labels\/pizmo-stankles-anti-aggravation-pills\/","title":{"rendered":"Pizmo & Stankle’s “Anti-Aggravation Pills”"},"content":{"rendered":"

New Ordnance for your cannon of remedies. Courtesy of valiant medicineers to the gentry of our nation!<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

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A Panacea for the New Millennium!<\/h3>

Your INSTANT and COMPLETE RELIEF will be both miraculous and coincidental!<\/h4>

\"I can state with total confidence that the ENTIRE contents of
this container consists of ingredients! Don\u2019t grunt and sweat
under a weary life! And for pity\u2019s sake don\u2019t bear fardels!
Dose yourself heavily with a cure so sensational, I have chosen
to think of it as very profitable!\" - Colonel Calvin T. Pizmo<\/p>

\"Partake of this fine product friend, and regain that immortal
sense of reason and perspective that settest men apart from
grinning apes! Turn Howling Hooligans, Bawling Babies,
Rude Ruffians, Shrieking Shrews, Paltry Paperwork,
Tedious Tangles and all that newfangled LOUD music
into tiny atomies of NOTHING!\" - Judge Feodor J. Stankle<\/p>

\u00a9 2013 www.antipills.com - This Novelty\/Entertainment container was sold empty.
Do not ingest any contents, edible or otherwise, unless you placed it in here yourself!<\/h6><\/div><\/div><\/div>

Attack Aggravation with SCIENCE!<\/h3>

Suffer the Scourge of Aggravation NO LONGER!<\/h4>

Citizen, bid farewell to the grinding, daily
horror of an insidious malady that sours the
mood and shortens the life of Man and Woman alike!
Let this 100% untested remedy banish aggravation
from your life with GUSTO!<\/p>

\" I took one single dose of Pizmo and Stankle's<\/strong><\/em>
Anti-Aggravation Pills. It caused me to<\/strong><\/em>
swoon and blaspheme, but all of my bodily<\/strong><\/em>
Negativium levels dropped to ZERO on their<\/strong><\/em>
Electro-Givadameter! \" - Satisfied Customer<\/strong><\/em><\/p>

In Case Of Accidental Over-Dose:
Do not induce vomiting. ( That's disgusting.)
Simply sit quietly in a corner for a while and
think about what you've done.<\/p>

A Ground-Shuddering THUNDERBOLT of Tranquility in Every Dose!<\/h4><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

New Ordnance for your cannon of remedies. 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