{"id":705,"date":"2016-04-23T23:01:27","date_gmt":"2016-04-24T03:01:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/antipills.com\/?page_id=705"},"modified":"2020-04-06T13:05:23","modified_gmt":"2020-04-06T17:05:23","slug":"tango-rattlebacks-anti-ghost-gobules","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/antipills.com\/index.php\/empty-medicine-jars-with-detailed-satirical-labels\/tango-rattlebacks-anti-ghost-gobules\/","title":{"rendered":"Tango Rattleback’s “Anti-Ghost Gobules”"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00a0For hauntings that are middling, huge or tiny . . . these gobules will kick any spirit's hiney.<\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>

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Never Let Ghosts Run the Show!
Blow Them ''Off-Stage'' With your Own Breath!<\/h4>\n

Are scores of \"dear departed\" causing chills?
No need to cower, panic, weep nor flee.
All spirits dread the takers of these pills!
This, Tango Rattleback will Guarantee!<\/p>\n

Dismiss despair! Reclaim your joy once more,
and save yourself and kin from loss of sleep!
Dispel the moan, footstep and creaking door,
and banish eerie sights of shadow's creep!<\/p>\n

These noxious gobules ionize the air !
They fortify your breath with odors, rare!
No spirit, poltergeist nor tingling breeze
will dare to challenge your angelic wheeze!<\/p>\n

A dose or two can ward you from lost souls
and purge the space around you of spots cold!
No ghost may shriek nor knock nor rattle bowls
nor haunt your home, though it be wicked old!<\/p>\n

\u00a9 2015 www.antipills.com - This Novelty\/Entertainment container was sold empty.<\/strong>
Do not ingest any contents, edible or otherwise, unless you placed it in here yourself!<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div>

Now it's YOUR TURN to whisper \"Get Out!\"<\/h4>\n

Once fortified against fantasms dyre,
take further steps to chase them from your halls.
Fling Ouija Boards and dolls into the fire.
You'll END the rattling chains and bleeding walls.<\/p>\n

\"I took only a SINGLE DOSE of Tango Rattleback's Anti-Ghost Gobules. My entire house is now Ghost-Free! I also notice there are no Mimes, Gibbons, Mermaids, Banshees or Car Salesmen...So...Bonus!\" - Satisfied Customer<\/strong><\/p>\n

Proceed with measured calm your home to clear.
Take care when burning Sage, watch close the flame!
Maintain a steady hand and vanquish fear.
To torch your house would be a dismal shame.<\/p>\n

Though ectoplasm wraps around your head
as doors slam shut and chandeliers swing wild,
your triumph is assured over the dead.
One pill for you and one for every child!<\/p>\n

A Dour-Faced, Bespectacled Scientist
~*~*~*~*~*~\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 in Every Dose!\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 ~*~*~*~*~*~<\/h4>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div>
<\/div><\/div><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u00a0For hauntings that are middling, huge or tiny . . . these gobules will kick any spirit’s hiney.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":76,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"page-fullwidth.php","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-705","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nTango Rattleback's "Anti-Ghost Gobules" - Anti-Pills<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/antipills.com\/index.php\/empty-medicine-jars-with-detailed-satirical-labels\/tango-rattlebacks-anti-ghost-gobules\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Tango Rattleback's "Anti-Ghost Gobules" - Anti-Pills\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0For hauntings that are middling, huge or tiny . . . these gobules will kick any spirit's hiney.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/antipills.com\/index.php\/empty-medicine-jars-with-detailed-satirical-labels\/tango-rattlebacks-anti-ghost-gobules\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Anti-Pills\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/antipills\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2020-04-06T17:05:23+00:00\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@Calvin_Pizmo\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/antipills.com\\\/index.php\\\/empty-medicine-jars-with-detailed-satirical-labels\\\/tango-rattlebacks-anti-ghost-gobules\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/antipills.com\\\/index.php\\\/empty-medicine-jars-with-detailed-satirical-labels\\\/tango-rattlebacks-anti-ghost-gobules\\\/\",\"name\":\"Tango Rattleback's \\\"Anti-Ghost Gobules\\\" - 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